Does anyone else speak greeting card?
I am fluent in speaking greeting card. I remember cards from years ago that made me laugh, cry, roll my eyes. I’ve never understood how someone I’ve never met can sum up my emotions and relationships in three sentences or less.
But they do.
Years ago, during one of my many “I’m going to get fit” phases, a friend left me a voice mail message asking how my workouts were going. In response, I sent a card. It said:
Cover: “I decided to get in shape so I took up jogging,”
Inside: My thighs rubbed together so hard my underwear caught on fire.”
It painted a picture that, while not literally correct, summed up my feelings perfectly.
Although no one has admitted it to my face, I think my friends hate to go card shopping with me. I make it an adventure. Regardless of who I am with, I always find the perfect card for them. I’ll hand it to them and say, “from me to you.” And then we’re off and running. I get so caught up in finding cards for my shopping companion that I forget to look for the card(s) I actually need. On the upside, we usually end up laughing so hard we’re in tears.
Recently, my son and I were shopping for cards when I came across one that read, “I got you something for your birthday…” On the inside, “You’re holding it.”
Immediately, I said, “Hey, Jax, I found the card I’m getting you for your birthday.”
As I predicted, he grabbed it and read it and then looked at me with a combination of exasperation and fear that only a pre-teen can give. You know the look. It means “yeah, right” and “you’re joking, aren’t you:?” all at the same time.
“Ha, ha,” he said. Then he began looking. Within a minute, I heard, “Here, Mom. This card is for you.”
Overjoyed that my child had picked up on my love for “giving” cards in the moment, I took it from him.
On the front: “We are only young once…”
Inside, “and your time is up.”
All I could do was laugh out loud.
“You had to know it was coming,” he said with a smile.
“Yeah, I did. I just didn’t know you were already so gifted at selecting birthday cards,” I replied.
I think speaking greeting card should be a recognized talent. Or maybe it’s just a gift. Like the one Jax may get for his birthday.